When I wake up naturally just before 6:00 am, I know that Set wants to chat. He’s done this many times now in our years together, generally on important days.
I was not thinking of today as particularly spiritually significant for my personal practice, though on the secular end of things today marks completion of my 27th loop around the Sun. Nevertheless, when He who is Great of Battle Cry speaks, you listen. (As that particular epithet implies, He’s marvelously loud in that regard!)
So we chatted, and it went something like this.
Set: You are worried, and you have just woken up. That’s no way to start the day.
Me: At times I don’t know what I’m meant to be for my community. That I’m letting them down.
Set: What have you been in the past?
I listed various jobs and skill sets, drawing from time spent as a musician, a sculptor, an educator, a marketer, a counselor, and more.
Set: Quite a few options.
Me: Jack of many trades, master of none.
Set: I hear plenty there from which to draw your purpose.
Me: I suppose.
Set: What I do not hear is what you wish the community to bring to you.
Set: Have you learned from Hethert’s words?
(She had previously gently chided me, “You give all your gifts away and keep too few for yourself. Hold on to some of them.”)
Me: Not yet.
Set: Fix that.
Me: I will.
Good things to think about. Gratitude is a good focus on one’s birthday, I think. Taking time to look at all that has changed for the better since I became Kemetic, all that I have learned. Giving myself space to determine what I hope to learn and gain in the future. How to bring that to pass, and worry, even just a little bit less, about if I’m doing enough, or being enough, for those I love. Never to lose sight of my responsibilities, but simply to take a better look at who I am. Greater self-understanding so that I won’t feel so much doubt at what I can offer moving forward.